Living abroad is generally good fun. I really don’t mind, honestly, living in a foreign country and generally have few problems. The biggest issue, though, is due to language and cultural differences, day to day situations are most awkward than they’d be in English, or slightly harder to navigate. And those are for day to day situations, like arranging redelivery of a package, or shopping. Life enters who new worlds of weirdness when you’re in an already strange situation.<\/p>\n
You could’ve actually skipped that entire first paragraph. It was just a long lead-in for what happened last Friday.<\/p>\n
You see, the high school I work at has an annual health check up for all the students and teachers. Seeing as I’m a contract worker, I don’t believe it’s mandatory for me to take it, but this is Japan. When someone says they’d really, really<\/strong><\/em> like you to do something, it basically means that you must do it. Ignore this unwritten rule at your own peril.<\/p>\n It actually wasn’t so bad. Wednesday had an eye check (to make sure I have eyes), and an x-ray of my lungs (to make sure they’re still workin’). But Friday.. oh yes, Friday. Friday is ‘urine sample day’. One of my not-so-favorite days. Fortunately, they let you do it in the privacy of your own home and bring in a little vial of it, but that has it’s own pitfalls. You see, until I reach the nurse’s office, I thus have to walk around with a briefcase, carrying my own pee.<\/strong> If this sounds appealing to you, you may have problems.<\/p>\n But in the world of Jason, nothing ends so simply. Of course<\/em> not! You see, in my infinite awesomeness, I mistook the time to submit said sample and thought it was 11am (instead of 10:30a). So I arrive at the nurse’s office, try to avoid direct eye contact, and mumble something about having to ‘hand over the thing<\/em>‘. Japanese is vague, so it’s okay. But she stands up from her desk and hurries over, mumbling “Oh no<\/em>, Jason!! The man just left. He just<\/strong> left, Jason! 10 minutes ago!”<\/p>\n Ignoring the fact that we’re talking about my urine here, this is already an awkward situation. Now recall again that we are talking about my bodily fluids, and this is really uncomfortable. Cue Jason’s anxiety attack as I start to worry about having to go an entire day with said pee sample in my bag. I start debating where I can find a good location to ditch it, but that’s just even more uncomfortable. It’s one of those<\/strong> days, isn’t it, God?<\/p>\n The nurse, however, steps in and goes to colossal means to rectify this situation. She calls the dispatch company and get’s the driver’s cell phone number and asks him to drive all the way back<\/em> just to collect my urine.<\/p>\n I don’t think I can ever look the nurse in the eye again. Not without coughing into my fist and mumbling before making a hasty retreat.<\/p>\n Remember, kids: Always double check when people want your urine. This may save your life (or at least your comfort in social situations) someday.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Living abroad is generally good fun. I really don’t mind, honestly, living in a foreign country and generally have few problems. The biggest issue, though, is due to language and cultural differences, day to day situations are most awkward than they’d be in English, or slightly harder to navigate. And those are for day to day situations, like arranging redelivery of a package, or shopping. Life enters who new worlds of weirdness when you’re in an already strange situation.<\/p>\n You could’ve actually skipped that entire first paragraph. It was just a long lead-in for what happened last Friday.<\/p>\n