04/11/2005: "Closer and closer it comes.."

Current Sounds: Noir - Melodie
Currently Feeling: Introspective

Well, the weekend came and went. How am I doing work-wise? Still behind in my e-mails, still drifting a bit behind in my homework.. yeah, I need to stop procrastinating. Got kinda busy tonight, though, so I didn't get a chance to get my math homework done. I need to do it this morning before running off to class.

Otherwise.. how's life going? Okay, I guess. Been kinda up and down as of late, but.. that's life, I suppose. Alas, I tend to withdraw a bit when I do that, so that's why I seem to disappear on and off. I really need to get back to the e-mails, though. Will make an effort to get those done this afternoon. Have a test coming up today, but.. not too worried about it. It really shouldn't be too bad. What I do need to do, however, is try to get some sleep. Haven't been doing much of that for awhile now.

I also need to start making up a list of things I need to do/buy before I leave for this summer. Not only will I be away for 3 months, but I also don't know what I can and cannot easily pick up there, so it's best to get as much as I can before I go. I also need to do some other things (get hair cut, etc) and make sure I have a good enough idea on how to get to where I'm going.

It still feels so.. unreal. I've talked about going to Japan since I was 12 years old. I always figured that maybe I'd do it "someday".. but it never really seems like "someday" will come up. At least not this soon. I've already been to Japan, sure, but that was for a short time. As a tourist, doing touristy things. This is only for 3 months now.. but that's still very different. I'll be living and working there this time. To "come home" after being out all day will be a different place, in a different country.

I've wanted this for so very long. And finally, I'm going. I think what I worry about most, though.. is being alone. It sounds utterly pathetic, I know.. but I'm not much of a "go out and see what happens" kind of person. At the very least, it's always easier to go do something if you know someone there, or someone goes with you. There's some form of familiarity.

Alas, I've been a bit introspective lately. Don't get me wrong.. I still want to go. I think I'm just having the typical "cold-feet" before any big life event.

I should get to bed.. test this afternoon and such, and I need to try to get up early to do my homework. I'll write sometime later, though..


Jason