04/26/2005: "Sometimes, I don't even understand myself."

Hey.. so here I am. Sorry for not posting earlier. Been getting to things kinda off and on as of late. I really need to be asleep right now, but.. for some reason, I rarely can get myself to go to bed as of late. I'm sure there's probably a reason for all this, but I really can't say what that is. I'd go into some sort of long, drawn-out psychological thing on possible reasons, but really.. who needs that?

So, let's get to the updating on my life (considering this is a journal about my life, this seems like a good place to start). First off, school. Oddly enough, I only have about 3 weeks left of classes. I don't know why it is this way, but I always get oddly sentimental at the end of the semester. No matter how little I may care for some of the classes, it still means the passing of time. It just says that another part of my life has passed, and I'm a step closer to the dark "future" that lurks in the shadows in front of me. This is another issue entirely, but.. yeah. I always feel odd about the semester ending. Aside from that, I'm doing pretty well in my classes. Two more papers due in philosophy, I'm already done with psychology (I still need to attend class, but I'm exempt from the final.. YAY!), one more math test, and two more in Japanese. Alot of work coming up, I guess, but nothing I haven't done before.

About a week after school ends, I'll be boarding a plane and flying to a foreign country to live and stay for three months. Lately, I've been stressing out alot about all the small details regarding this trip. This is great, and I am excited.. but every. little. thing. just seems to have 50 more things attached to it. At times, I don't possibly have enough time to resolve all the issues. At other times, it seems like I have to just sit and wait. Do I have enough money to live and eat in Tokyo? It's only 6 days. What kinds of things do I need to buy? Etc, etc, etc. Mind you, this is mostly my own fault, due to the fact that I, by my very nature, worry. And worry alot.

Something positive.. hmm.. ah, yes, I just finished my first game! Yay! It's now available for download on my website. It's nothing too impressive, I guess.. but to be honest, I'm quite proud of it. Took it from pen and paper sketches to a fully-functional game in six days. I want to make another game before I leave (hopefully better).. but if I do, I need to get started soon. Bleh. I'll run some ideas on paper through my classes tomorrow (as I tend to, while pretending to do work).

Not really sure what else I have to say right now. I really need to sleep soon, but.. I don't know. Just can't seem to get myself to lately. I also need to start work on my Japanese language project soon. And THEN I need to find ways to fix/work on all the stuff people need/want me to get around to.

I'll write later, oh yes.. soon, I hope.

Joe, I'll e-mail you sometime soon, okay? Don't worry too much.. everything's mostly fine. And the thing in Amazon was great. She got a few books and things for the trip.

So.. writing later!


Jason