11/03/2005: "Tumbling"

Current Sounds: Merril Bainbridge - Mouth
Currently Feeling: Sore

I won't be writing too much right now, I just want to go to bed right now and don't really feel like sitting here and writing much, but I figured I should probably mention this.

Flying off of a bicycle isn't good. Just starting to recover from the injuries from that when today happened. I really do hate the roads and driving here. Anyway, to cut to the point, I was hit by a car today while on my bike. First and foremost, getting hit by a car really sucks. Honestly, no sarcasm or humor intended at all.. it simply really does suck. I don't advise anyone do it. I was just lucky that the car wasn't moving very fast and the driver stopped quickly. Before anyone gets wildly paranoid, I made it out fairly okay. Just some cuts and scrapes on my hand and some road rash on my elbow (likely a bad bruise on it later, too). My back's also fairly sore, but I imagine this is only natural after getting hit by a moving vehicle. The bicycle was crushed by the car. If this is the worse that happened, I guess that's all pretty lucky. I already had it replaced (the guy who hit me was really good about all this, surprisingly. Very cooperative. Insisted we get the bicycle replaced tonight).

Depending on how everything's feeling in the morning or over the weekend, I'll see if I'll go to the doctor early next week. I've already alerted all my instructors (I didn't make any of my classes today, and I don't think I'll be going to any tomorrow. I really should lay down), so I don't imagine there should be any promblems. I want to go to Japanese class to take the kanji quiz and make it to class, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea.

I don't recall much about what happened. The further away it gets (this happened only 10 hours ago), the less I seem to remember, or the more of it my mind is blocking out. Everything leading up to it is vivid, then just a rush of flashes and reactions, then clear, concrete memories again. I know this is a fairly minor incident, and so much worse could've happened.. but... I just don't know what to say about it. It's hard to describe without hand motions, without intonations.. it's even harder to describe, because I know that I'll immediately start to talk about it candidly, lightly so as to not show how I feel about the situation.

I didn't talk about it much, but I already had some issues with actually riding around the city with what happened two weeks ago. You wonder, you worry.. but if you fall off, you have to just pull yourself back up and try again. Something like this, I'm not sure if you can toss it aside quite as easily. I guess we'll wait and see. It's only been less than even half a day, but already I find myself bothered by walking along side streets on foot. Ideally, the psychological ramifications will be minimal. I've already done the sudden flashback, constantly replaying memories, repeated playing in your dreams, decompensation 3-month extravaganza before due to stressful/upsetting life experiences (don't ask). Not much fun. I don't think I'll have to contend with that again, but these memories certainly aren't things I cherish (which is probably why I'm forgetting so much so rapidly).

In an ideal world.. when you called someone up to tell them that something like this happened, but you're safe and alive, they'd be happy. Or whatever. In the real world, they lecture you. But that was just one person. My mother and other people were there in just a few minutes to come pick me up. Even strangers were out to check on my well-being. Hell, even the guy who hit me was more concerned for my overall safety. Maybe I'm just picky, but doesn't it seem like the "Well, you should've..." could wait a bit?

I'd write more about the nitty-gritty.. but I'd rather not dwell, and I want to go to bed. I'll write later, when I can. Weekend plans are very.. lacking. Probably just lay low, sleep, and play games. Come hell or high-water, I want to go to Japanese tomorrow, but we'll have to see (I hear this doesn't count as "taking it easy"). Friday, I'm meeting with someone to go practice Japanese again.


Jason