07/03/2006: "The lonliness of a whisper"

Current Sounds: Utada Hikaru - Sanctuary
Currently Feeling: "The world's a copy of a copy of a copy..." Tired and distant.

When I was young (which I guess I still am, depending on how you look at it), I used to think of voices like colors, and whispers were black and white. Everyone's voice is different and you can fairly easily tell the difference between one and the next. But when someone whispers, almost everyone sounds the same. It's devoid of their individuality, of the "color" that the person has. I don't know why it is, but I've always thought of whispers as something lonely and distant.

I'm not really sure why that came up, but it's something that seemed relevent a few days ago.

Since it's still summer, not terribly much of interest has happened lately, I guess. Most days blend from one into the next without much note. As horrified as my younger self would be to hear me saying this, I actually just want to go back to school. I rather enjoy having the schedule and doing something productive with my time. That's not to say that it's all been bad, though. I've gotten a fair bit of work done with my website, finished another translation project (I need to start a new one soon), been able to play through and finish alot of games, watched a bunch of movies, and have had some time to review/study/read some new Japanese books. I'm currently reading "13 Secrets for Speaking Fluent Japanese", which isn't too bad. I don't suggest it to someone who doesn't know any Japanese, as it's not about teaching you Japanese, but about teaching you how to use it more effectively. I'd like to read something that's not based on learning soon, so I'm thinking about picking up "Jarhead" (the book that the movie was based on) soon, if I can find it. I like reading and learning more things, but it gets tiring after awhile. Sometimes I just want to read for fun.

I've also managed to relearn that there's a very good reason why I prefer to not get too close with people sometimes. I like knowing people, I like getting closer and having people around to depend on, talk to, and not be so closed off all the time.. but it also means that the person is now closer, they mean more, and it's easier to get hurt. I rather don't like getting hurt. I don't like seeing something happening, knowing it's going to be bad, and letting it happen anyway. There's a certain problem with the system here.

I should get going, do some reading, play a game or somesuch.

Hopefully I'll get some sleep tonight. We'll see how it goes.

I'll post again when I have a chance/something to say.. yes.


Jason