10/18/2007: "[At School/Work] Still trudging along"

Technically, I'm at school. I'm also technically at work. But I'm not working (just bumming around at the computer lab), and I don't have classes right now, so.. not sure what you'd count this as.

Had lunch with some people, tidied some stuff up around the lab, haven't done a whole lot. Also had some free time this morning to spruce up my pc and work on the websites I go to (if you have the time and go to a website frequently enough, you can actually manually block all the advertisements and pop-up ads. Pretty nice, but you have to do it for each website, so it usually has to be worthwhile). I find doing work helps keep me grounded. Lately, it seems almost at random that I'm just suddenly crushed down by feelings of desolation and isolation. It's certainly not 'fun', per se. It doesn't seem to matter where I am, what I'm doing (though obviously, it tends to get worse when I'm alone).. it just hits.

I try to not dwell on the bad. Really, I do. But things just feel so uncertain right now, I guess. For so long, I work so hard to be a go get'em kinda person, to keep fighting to the bitter end for anything that I want.. and you know, it's tiring. I just want to take a step back, shirk my responsibilities for a bit, and figure stuff out. Ideally, I'd like to go somewhere. Fly away for a week, walk around China, Korea, Taiwan.. somewhere. The sad part is that I know I can. Unfortunately. work needs me. People need me. And I suppose I should kinda care about my grades.. though I find myself utterly disinterested in them as of late.

Unfortunately, in this time with everything being so busy and hectic, I don't really have the time to go figure myself out. Or, at least, I do.. but I just can't do that to other people. I'm not that selfish.

I need to go run to my next class (kinda).. then kinda busy this weekend. I'll post some photos when I have time.


School