Week 2, continuing on.

Current Sounds: Hoshi no Koe - Through the Years and Far Away

I've always maintained that once you feel compelled to change yourself or wrong for what you do/how you act due to the people you're around, it's time to start being around new people. This generally works alright for me. Despite this, and having it work fairly well for me for years, I now find myself in a position where I feel that I should change things about myself to appease those around me.

Blah. Things have been just a tad "not ideal" lately, to put it lightly. I suppose part of the problem is school resuming once again, so I'm having a bit of a time adapting to new sleeping, reading, and work schedules. Most of the people I know are also doing the same, so I guess everyone's a bit stressed. What I don't like, though, is the randomness of it all. Things work one minute, the next suddenly people are angry at something and you have no idea where the transition was. Just a tad frustrating, really.

To add to the joy, I think I'm getting sick. Nothing serious, but I am running a fever right now, and I don't feel so good on my feet. Naturally, I'm still going to school. Some reasons are personal, others are practical (I have homework to pickup in Japanese). I'm sure it won't be a big deal, just need to get over the initial hump of being tired and not wanting to work up the will to bike to school.

The lesson learned once again? Sometimes I seriously wonder if having a social life is worth it. As a matter of personality, I don't like playing games. But I guess no matter what I choose, it's one of those things you end up doing anyway, like it not. There will always be people, and you'll always end up talking to them. It's just a matter of how much power you give it.

Need to get dressed and then leave for my morning class, followed by Japanese, then back here.
Jason on 08.30.06 @ 08:55 AM JST [link]

Sou desu ne..

Current Sounds: Fuel - Bad Day
Currently Feeling: Tired

So, first week of school's going alright. I was signed into my Japanese language class (ooh, "Advanced" Japanese. Now don't I feel special?) and have managed to keep all of my other classes. Due to a temporary bout of insanity, and a need to feel productive, I decided to take an additional class this semester. The class seems pretty easy, I'm already familiar with the material, and I read the text book before (just for fun, too.. kinda weird), it just seemed like a good choice.

I'm having a bit of a time adapting to my new schedule, though. Waking up at late 7, early 8 am (depending on the day of the week) is just not working out so well. I feel tired and sick in the morning, but I imagine it's going to pass in a few weeks as my body gets used to it. The sucky part is that I'm dead tired in the evenings now, after biking to and from school, running from class to class, and then doing homework, I just don't have time to do much. I'm hoping this will also pass soon. But the upside to that is I fall asleep right away and sleep all night, so I guess I must need it.

Not really much to say about the week, other than it's the same basic "first day" stuff that happens every 5-6 months. Introduce yourself, stare at everyone else, try to take some notes, read the syllabus, rinse, repeat. It's really not so bad, all told.

The one thing that always finds a way of being new and dynamic is the interpersonal issues. I'm still having new issues pop up with that, I guess. Some days everything's great, other days I wonder if I even know people. Alas, it's pretty well accepted that I just worry too much. The default state of being a shut-in is easy.. but something I really don't want to do. I guess that's why you need to go the extra mile and just stick it through.

"sou desu ne". Translates to "that's right, isn't it". It's used in Japanese as something of a confirming statement to something that's been said. I've found it makes a great reply to any of thsoe many situations you find yourself in where you have no idea what the proper reply is. Like so:

"I'm doing something incredibly stupid that will probably go horribly wrong, Jason!"
"..sou desu ne."

"..and that's when I sold my kidneys for $32 in Albania!"
"sou desu ne.."

This is totally pointless, yes. But just one of those things you run across in life and you have no idea what a proper reply is. I can now thank Japanese for providing me with a good, solid reply to these odd situations in life. Bonus points if the person you say it to doesn't know Japanese. Alas, as I head further into my major, I interact on a daily basis with less and less people that don't know Japanese. Kinda interesting.

I have about 8 minutes to my briefing/intro lecture (I'm betting we're going to stand and introduce ourselves), so I should get running. Just wanted to let people know I'm not dead, and things are relatively alright.
School on 08.25.06 @ 10:53 AM JST [link]

First day of school

Current Sounds: Utada Hikaru - Passion ~after the battle~

Today is the first day of classes once more, the start of another exciting semester. I'm actually glad to have classes starting again, though there's still that nervousness that I've always had when school picks back up. Three months really is way too long of a break. I think it should be broken up through the year.

Have to head in early to go to my morning class that I'm hoping to drop so I can take Japanese language. But, just in case I can't get in, I think it's best to play it safe and attend the first class anyway if I have to keep it. Professors tend to not exactly be happy with students who skip the first day. However, I'm still hoping to get into Japanese later this afternoon.

Couldn't really get to sleep last night, so I'm still really groggy right now. I've already started on the Mountain Dew to get over that, and I should probably go eat something before I leave the house. So, on that note, I'll head off to finish packing stuff for class (need to grab an umbrella, too) and then get on my way. I'll write about the results on getting into Japanese pretty soon, I'm sure.
Jason on 08.21.06 @ 08:30 AM JST [link]

I am Jack's long-held sigh of relief

Current Sounds: KOTOKO - Oboetete Ii Yo
Currently Feeling: Unbelievably relieved

Dear [Jason]-san,

Thank you for coming to the placement test today. 415 looks as if it is indeed
the right level for you. Have a grat [sic] semester!

I don't think I can begin to truly express how much this simple e-mail means to me. These three sentences represent a little over half a month worth of worrying. An entire week worth of studying (I covered 5 chapters in about 2-3 days). Sleepless nights for the past week. A two hour long test that I made some glaring mistakes on, and an evening not knowing anything about how it went. Not only that, but this placement test basically put the past two years on the line, possibly having to repeat classes, etc.

I'm sure it doesn't sound like much to someone else, but this is something I've spent many hours on, alot of time studying, etc. The exam I was preparing for was an absolute mystery, no one could/would answer any questions about it other than there were "writing and speaking" parts. The best advice I got from one of my previous instructors was "you'd be better off retaking a previous class, it might be too hard to pass the exam" (paraphrased). Now that's a morale-builder! How, exactly, do you study for an exam you know nothing about, anyway? Between that and other stuff to get ready for school, I've been a bit busy lately.

In short, I was pretty sure that I did alright, but not quite well enough. I made some obvious mistakes on the exam, like writing about my last summer when they told me to write about this summer break, and losing all concept of Japanese when I walked into the oral interview. To have that mysterious, looming test (that I've known about since early May!) finally lifted is great. The next step is to find out how my friend did (who also took the test), and then to see if I can actually get into the class I qualified for (which may involve begging on the first day of classes).

I really need to be off to bed, as I've been up for nearly a day now, and I think sleep might do my body some good, still a bit shell-shocked from the test yesterday and all the suspense. But I'm really sorry to those I haven't been around for as much lately, from all these things coming up. I'm still around.. I just don't seem to always be as present in people's lives as I know I should be.

As usual, I'm going to try to stop disappearing like I do.. for now, though, I think sleep's calling me.
Jason on 08.19.06 @ 05:34 AM JST [link]

Back amongst the world of the living

Current Sounds: NANA - Black Rose

Slept for about 9 hours and am feeling quite a bit more stable now. Aside from waking up maybe once or twice, I slept alright. My dreams were really weird last night, but that's not too far out of the norm.

From all the moving and standing around yesterday, I'm sore today. I'm officially "old", you know. A whole 20.6~ years old! All told, yesterday wasn't too bad, as far as moving experiences go. I still have the great stories of moving large freezers down a flight of stairs and making tight turns, taking a couch down those same stairs, etc. Oddly enough, I much prefer taking things like that up stairs (though, truth be told, I'd rather simply not move large objects on stairs in the first place). But, fortunately, we weren't moving anything big and there were no stairs. This makes for a happy Jason. I did do alot of folding clothes and finding new and inventive ways to stuff a car full or things. Cars look so big until you try to put stuff in it. Suddenly, you notice just how little room there is.

All in all, I actually had fun yesterday.

Today.. not sure what I'm going to do. As soon as I woke up, I went looking to buy as many of my textbooks online as I can to try to cut the cost somewhat. Due to taking a lit class and higher-level history, I have about 15 books to get (and eventually read) this semester. So far, I've managed to cut down total costs by about 25% (I have 6 of the books in the mail, and 2 with me), which is pretty respectable.

I should probably study Japanese today, look through the textbook and such. 7 days until the world-ruining placement test, you know.

So, off to consider looking for breakfast, then maybe studying.
Jason on 08.11.06 @ 08:49 AM JST [link]

Need sleep..

Current Sounds: Amika Hattan - To The Light
Currently Feeling: Foggy, can't really think.

Woke up yesterday (Wednesday) at 11am. It is now Thursday at 9PM. Between these two days, I've done quite a bit. Walked 4~ miles, gotten book stuff for school (somewhat) out of the way, and spent 8 hours today helping a friend move from one house to another. I've slept about 2 hours inbetween, and that's really all coming up right now and finally dragging me down now. It's amazing how tired you become when you stop moving. When you no longer need to be awake, your body kinda stops trying so much.

The "only sleeping 2 hours" wasn't really my choice, I should mention. I just can't sleep at all lately and spent a good deal of time in bed staring at the roof last night until I simply ran out of time to sleep. This is really getting old. But, due mostly to the sheer exhaustion I'm going through now, I'm pretty sure I'll be able to sleep.

I have more to say, and more rambling to do.. but I really, seriously, most-truly need to get to bed now.

Later, then..
Jason on 08.10.06 @ 08:57 PM JST [link]

Pretending to studying.. I seem so studious.

Current Sounds: Maze (TV) - Junk Boy

Trying to keep with studying Japanese every single day is getting a tad mind-numbing. At the very least, regardless of what happens with the Japanese language class, I finally have my whole class schedule settled as of this morning (I was registered for a place-holder class before and for Mandarin, which I'd like to avoid taking until after I'm done with Japanese). I'll be changing this if I can register for the next Japanese (language) class, but at least right now it's somewhat set.

Things have been somewhat uneventful but not too bad lately. I'm still having a hard time sleeping and getting to sleep, no matter when I go to bed (shy of staying up for about 22 hours, but it's best to avoid doing that). Ideally this will end before classes begin, but otherwise I figure it's not doing much good to worry about it and just stay in bed and stare at the inside of my eyelids for awhile until I finally fall to sleep. These things come and go, so I figure it'll eventually pass. This is definitely the responsible way to deal with problems, boys and girls.

Hmm.. in other news.. not too much. Still studying, which is cutting into my time for reading books that don't have something to do with learning. I did bake cookies (two dozen) recently, which was.. fun, I suppose. I like cooking, but rarely have any reason to. I also don't really like sweets/cookies/cakes/etc all that much, but it's more for the sake of making them and having one or two than for anything else.

Going to help someone move later this week and ideally get down to the university bookstore so I can get the ISBNs and other book information for my classes to buy my books online (I'm not keen on buying $310 worth of books, which is what I'm looking at this semester). Other than that, that's about it for plans this week (outside of studying). I'd like to just get out and go somewhere for a change of environment and for the "wow, I'm actually doing something different" feeling, but it's so hot during the afternoon that it's not exactly practical. If the weather keeps up (still rainy), that's probably what I'll go do.

That's about it for now. I'm sure I'll post something again soon about the exciting events as they unfold..
Jason on 08.08.06 @ 09:53 PM JST [link]

[Library/ILC] The random thoughts of a random mind

Current Sounds: Typing, typing, and some more typing.

Couldn't get to sleep last night, for one reason or another. Went to bed at a rather respectable 2am and spent the night sleeping for about 25-45 minutes, rolling over and staring at the roof for awhile, and then repeating the process. Maybe it's stress, maybe it's something else. I think maybe my sleep schedule's a bit off, so I'm having a hard time getting to bed at a sane hour.. I should probably try to adjust it, then (being tired now and not sleeping until tonight should help). This isn't too interesting, but it's the kind of thing you ramble about when you have free time and are writing in the computer lab/place.

In other "eventful" news, I cut my finger two days ago. Naturally, any small surface cut is terribly painful, and your body always reminds you that it's still there. It's going to be alright, but it's annoying. At least it's on my left hand, which isn't terribly important.

Had to come to the campus to drop off a birthday present for someone (her birthday's on Sunday, and this is the last chance to see her before then), so I'm up early, about, and around. I like doing what I can for people's birthdays, but birthday present shopping is always really annoying. It has to be absolutely perfect, or else it just feels wrong. Hopefully she'll like it.. we'll find out in a few days. At the very least, the card's nice.

School's starting in a little over two weeks, and I have my Japanese placement test just a few days before that. I'm trying to study whenever I can, and I think it's going well enough. However, I think it's most important to not stress too much about it and not make it a life-altering thing. While I definitely do not want to repeat a semester of Japanese because the university is arrogant and thinks their program is better.. alot worse could happen. Sure, it'll cost alot of money to repeat and I already know most of the course material in the class, but life goes on.. or so I'm trying to remind myself. All you can do is your best, right?

Once the semester starts, I also want to get started on seeing if I can go to Japan over winter break. I wouldn't be going for too long (probably 10 days or so, depending on ticket prices, etc), but it'd be nice to get away for awhile, go visit people I haven't seen in over a year, etc. It's possible I might be able to go stay with someone while I'm there, which would definitely lower the cost for finding a place to stay, but I need to contact them about that. But first, I need to figure out if I'm even going.

I should go get something to eat soon and probably head off to be productive-ish (studying or what-have-you). Get lunch here, go home, probably pretend I'm going to study and play a game instead.. yep. It works, somehow.

Now, where did she go? We need to go get lunch..
School on 08.04.06 @ 11:10 AM JST [link]

[Library/ILC] The random thoughts of a random mind

Current Sounds: Typing, typing, and some more typing.

Couldn't get to sleep last night, for one reason or another. Went to bed at a rather respectable 2am and spent the night sleeping for about 25-45 minutes, rolling over and staring at the roof for awhile, and then repeating the process. Maybe it's stress, maybe it's something else. I think maybe my sleep schedule's a bit off, so I'm having a hard time getting to bed at a sane hour.. I should probably try to adjust it, then (being tired now and not sleeping until tonight should help). This isn't too interesting, but it's the kind of thing you ramble about when you have free time and are writing in the computer lab/place.

In other "eventful" news, I cut my finger two days ago. Naturally, any small surface cut is terribly painful, and your body always reminds you that it's still there. It's going to be alright, but it's annoying. At least it's on my left hand, which isn't terribly important.

Had to come to the campus to drop off a birthday present for someone (her birthday's on Sunday, and this is the last chance to see her before then), so I'm up early, about, and around. I like doing what I can for people's birthdays, but birthday present shopping is always really annoying. It has to be absolutely perfect, or else it just feels wrong. Hopefully she'll like it.. we'll find out in a few days. At the very least, the card's nice.

School's starting in a little over two weeks, and I have my Japanese placement test just a few days before that. I'm trying to study whenever I can, and I think it's going well enough. However, I think it's most important to not stress too much about it and not make it a life-altering thing. While I definitely do not want to repeat a semester of Japanese because the university is arrogant and thinks their program is better.. alot worse could happen. Sure, it'll cost alot of money to repeat and I already know most of the course material in the class, but life goes on.. or so I'm trying to remind myself. All you can do is your best, right?

Once the semester starts, I also want to get started on seeing if I can go to Japan over winter break. I wouldn't be going for too long (probably 10 days or so, depending on ticket prices, etc), but it'd be nice to get away for awhile, go visit people I haven't seen in over a year, etc. It's possible I might be able to go stay with someone while I'm there, which would definitely lower the cost for finding a place to stay, but I need to contact them about that. But first, I need to figure out if I'm even going.

I should go get something to eat soon and probably head off to be productive-ish (studying or what-have-you). Get lunch here, go home, probably pretend I'm going to study and play a game instead.. yep. It works, somehow.

Now, where did she go? We need to go get lunch..
School on 08.04.06 @ 11:10 AM JST [link]